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BAD JOBS OF THE WEEK

1. Royce White thinks the Rockets and David Stern are out to get him

Listen, I get that anxiety disorder is probably a bigger issue than people may realize. But if you think that the organization who spent a first-round draft pick on you wants you gone? You’re an idiot.

Memo to Royce, you’re not that important to the rest of the league for them to be “out to get you.” Only the Rockets care about your situation because they spent a mid-first round draft choice on you and are trying as much as possible to comply with your needs.

You better get your shit straight because the clock has already begun ticking on your career. You weren’t projected to be that good in the first place.

2. NFL approves a new rule that sets up for Running Backs to get killed

They say the average life span of an NFL running back is about three years, so implementing a rule that takes away the runner’s ability to lower his head when bracing for a hit is basically asking for the ultimate demise of this position.

“Jim Brown never lowered his head,” Steelers President Art Rooney said with a smile. “It can be done.”

Yeah, well, Jim Brown was also bigger than everyone in the league at that time. The game was completely different. These defensive players today are so ridiculously fast and strong that these offensive players barely even have a second to react so sometimes lowering your pad-level to absorb a blow is the only way you can protect yourself.

Many keep projecting that we may not have football even 20 years from now. That notion to me is a complete overreaction, but at this rate with all these rule changes the NFL has been putting in to protect players, we may be watching flag football come 2033.

Also, the league finally did away with the dumbest rule in the history of the sport, the Tuck Rule. To which the Oakland Raiders said…

Well done, Oakland.

3. Cavs fan runs on the court for LeBron wearing a shirt that says “We Miss You, Come Back 2014”

I know the Cavs suck despite having the great Uncle Drew on their team.

And I know that when LeBron was in Cleveland they won 60 games regularly and were a threat to go to the Finals virtually every season.

But what this clown did to that city and the way he did it is something I would never, ever forgive if I was a Cavs fan.

It’s not the fact that LeCon James left the Cavs, because I wasn’t completely against it as an outsider observing his potential options.

It’s really how he went about the whole thing that’s so unforgivable.

And I don’t give a damn what anyone says, these butt buddies played together the summer before and conspired when signing their new deals.

James knew what he was doing, he knew he wasn’t returning to Cleveland and didn’t even have the decency to let that team know before his nationally televised announcement.

If I was that guy, my shirt would’ve said “Rot in Hell, Tear an ACL.”

4. Kendall Gill fights another broadcaster over Joakim Noah’s goaltending call

Just for the record, I agree with Kendall Gill’s opinion on this particular play. I thought the refs blew this call which turned out to be the deciding factor of this game.

But coming to blows with Tim Doyle in the CSN Newsroom might be a bit much.

Now, Doyle is not without blame here. He went out of his way on a later show to voice his displeasure with Gill’s comments when all he really needed to say was that he felt the refs made the right call.

Instead, he decided to speak out against not only a former professional athlete, but one that is now a pro boxer.

4-0 record with three knockouts, in case you were wondering.

And if you want to include this altercation with Doyle, let’s make it 5-0 with four knockouts since Gill threw a punch and blood was drawn.

5. Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria threatens to sue two fans for something that’s his fault

The next time Jeffrey Loria does something to appease his fans someone should bring the cameras out, cause it’ll probably be a miracle.

Not only does this money-hungry, conniving owner cheat his fans from enjoying good baseball from April to September, but now he won’t even comply with two lifelong fans who’ve purchased season tickets since 1998.

Granted, the view obstruction these fans complain about isn’t exactly the biggest change you’ll see, but if I’m paying 25 grand for season tickets to watch a team (who’s owner has completely mailed it in), I’d like to be able to sit comfortably without any worries as well.

But rather than show loyalty, Loria looks for another way to make even more money.

What a bad job.

-mDOT

BAD JOBS OF THE WEEK

1. James Dolan is raising ticket prices at the Garden next season, again

The only thing I’ll even give a little credit for when it comes to James Dolan is the fact that he did promise not to raise ticket prices unless the Knicks were good. And during basically the entire 2000’s, the Knicks were awful.

So to no one’s surprise, he raised them after the Knicks traded for Carmelo Anthony. But god forbid he lets this team win a damn playoff series or at least let fans enjoy one full season of actually being good.

The prices were raised heading into the 2011-12 season, and the team virtually fell flat on their face. Yes they made the playoffs, but it took a coaching change for their best player to even decide playing and a late-season run just to secure a playoff spot before ultimately getting embarrassed by the Miami Heat.

The least this guy could do is spare his fans one decent season that actually results in a playoff series win before jacking up prices again.

Maybe if he didn’t spend $800 million on a three-year transformation that nobody gives a shit about because the arena basically looks the same, he wouldn’t have to continue to steal money out of our pockets.

When your prices become too expensive for your hardcore fans to even enjoy at least a handful of games every season, you’re not doing a good job as an owner. If the arena is filled with a bunch of corporate assholes that care more about entertaining their client than the actual result of the game, then eventually Madison Square Garden doesn’t become the home-court advantage it should be.

If you want to get back some money, maybe you should sell your seats right underneath the basket every game. I’m sure you can make a shit load off of those itself on some suit wearing dbag. Spare the die-hard fans.

2. Florida Panthers prospect gets drunk and breaks into a house he thinks is his

We’ve all had our fair share of wasted nights. I’m certainly no angel.

But breaking into a house you thought was yours, passing out on the couch and then yelling at a woman and her kids, who live there, and telling them to get out? That’s a different type of blackout.

The woman’s husband reportedly told Scott Timmins, “You’re lucky I wasn’t here because I would’ve put a bullet between your eyes and it would’ve been over for you.”

Maybe it’s me, but I would think hearing something like that would make me want to change my ways a bit and be more careful about how I handle my alcohol.

3. Two NFL GMs are pranked into calling each other and the conversation gets recorded

How this even happened is amazing to me.

I didn’t realize getting through to talk to any NFL General Manager just consisted of a phone call pretending to be another GM.

I also didn’t realize that one front office person can be so stupid to continue to call a phone number they didn’t recognize, assuming it’s another GM, and not actually trying to confirm the number another way.

Shouldn’t General Managers have every other GM’s numbers in their smart phones? Maybe since Buddy Nix is 73 years old he probably still has a rolodex. But either way, you call back a number repeatedly with no answer, shouldn’t there be some suspicion?

What did the voicemail message say? These are a couple of 20-year old kids who probably had a message that said “Fuck off dude” and Nix is still sitting there trying to get through. Maybe since he pretty much knew his $59 million quarterback was about to be cut he was hoping to get on the horn and talk trade.

If anyone is wondering why the Buffalo Bills haven’t made the playoffs since 1999, here’s your answer. People like this are calling the shots.

4. Warren Sapp gets caught F-bombing the Patriots on NFL Network

This particular bad job is probably on the producer and audio people at NFL Network during this show, since it’s them who usually call for a talent’s microphone to be turned off and it’s them who lets the talent know that their mic is still hot.

But nevertheless, Warren Sapp continues to show his complete stupidity and ignorance. He’s sitting there trashing Scott Pioli and/or the New England Patriots while at the workplace. How about showing some professionalism for once in your life?

How NFL Network even continues to employ this man is beyond comprehension. Just about six months ago he called Brandon Marshall a “retard” because of something he apparently said about Shannon Sharpe.

There are analysts like Charles Barkley at TNT who have no filter but are extremely entertaining and funny and know how to break down the sport without sounding like a complete fool. Sapp doesn’t fall into any of those particular categories and in my mind provides absolutely nothing to the Network.

Bad job by the network for continuing to employ this tool.

5. Mike Francesa does a play-by-play of the new Pope announcement and it’s brutal

First and foremost, everything about this show is brutal.

Mike Francesa was atrocious even when he partnered up with Chris “Mad Dog” Russo but at least that show was tolerable at times. Mostly because of Mad Dog’s entertainment.

But ever since Francesa went solo, this show has been an absolute snooze fest and this particular segment was probably the worst half hour in sports radio history.

The fact that he spent any amount of time discussing the eventual unveiling of the new Pope just goes to show his arrogance.

Anyone that’s interested in that type of information is not tuning into Mike Francesa on WFAN. I hate to break it to you.

Your show isn’t entertaining enough to veer off topic for an extended period of time onto something that no one is tuning in to hear you talk about in the first place.

There’s too much out there in the sports media world now. Between podcasts, articles, Twitter, YouTube, and apps that literally allow you to listen to any sports radio show in the entire country, shows like Mike Francesa’s that live in the stone age hardly serve any purpose.

The day his contract is up at WFAN will be the greatest day in the station’s history. They also won’t have to worry about anyone falling asleep during a show when that day finally comes.

-mDOT

BAD JOBS OF THE WEEK

1. Ben Howland plays beer pong with UCLA students

I get the whole idea of being a “player’s coach.” But there are cases where the line needs to be drawn.

No one is going to pretend like underage drinking doesn’t happen in every college across America, but knowing it’s happening and being a part of it as a known public figure is a completely different story.

I don’t care how cool you think Howland is, being caught in a picture watching 19 YEAR OLD Shabazz Muhammad is not smart.

I’m not saying to kill the party and take everyone’s beer away. I’m just saying try not shooting ping-pong balls into a cup so you can get another underage student drunk when you’re the head coach of the men’s basketball team.

2. Brian Cashman breaks his ankle while skydiving for charity

It’s great that Yankees GM Brian Cashman used his platform to raise awareness for the Wounded Warrior Project.

But jumping out of an airplane wouldn’t be my first choice.

Considering you are who you are, why not maybe have some Yankee spring training jerseys made with the U.S. Army logo on it and donate money for every home run ball hit during batting practice that day?

You know, something that doesn’t put your life at great danger.

As it turns out, Cashman actually suffered the broken ankle after his SECOND jump. Maybe he heard the report that Cano, Granderson and Arod could all be suspended for PED use and thought the next jump could server a harsher fate.

3. Stephen A. Smith still thinks there are ties in hockey

This video just goes to show how much of a complete joke ESPN and Stephen A. Smith really are.

I get that he may not be the biggest hockey fan in the world, there’s a reason the NHL is clearly fourth among the four major sports in this country and I’m not going to pretend like I can rattle off Gordie Howe’s first five career playoff goals.

But my goodness Stephen A., the last official tie happened on April 4, 2004. That was over EIGHT YEARS AGO. You know, right before they had that whole thing called a strike that caused the league to miss the 2004-05 season.

And this is why ESPN is such a disgrace. Why on earth would you even bring on Stephen A. Smith who we all know clearly has no clue whatsoever about hockey. And why should anyone even give a damn about his opinion on whether or not the Miami Heat or the Chicago Blackhawks streak is better? Who cares?

Honestly, if it’s not for live games or those “30 for 30” shows, there’s really no reason to put on that channel. The content is garbage.

4. Lauren Silberman’s embarrassing NFL “tryout”

This was a complete joke and a sideshow.

Silberman attempted two kicks, neither of which traveled further than 19 yards. And then called for a trainer because she apparently aggravated a quad injury she suffered during the week.

Well, maybe if she didn’t spend her 30 minutes of warmups doing only push-ups and crunches, everyone’s time wouldn’t have been wasted watching her take two miserably failed attempts.

Probably the worst part of all this is, Silberman was basically free promotion for the NFL. All this talk of a female kicker possibly trying out for the NFL just made everyone involved in pumping this girl up, look horribly bad.

The only video evidence that anyone saw pre-NFL tryout was this awful video from a phone in which it looks like she’s setting up for about a 20-yard field goal. I can hit that. Does that mean I should fork over the $275 to attend one of these regional combines and hope for my shot in the league?

But now that we all now it obviously doesn’t take a whole lot to take a trip down to Florham Park, NJ and participate in an NFL tryout, the league will now find more ways to make money. As if it doesn’t have enough.

5. Renaldo Balkman goes after the refs and then chokes his teammate

I assume that much like myself, you couldn’t care less what Renaldo Balkman is doing these days because he was about as irrelevant on the NBA level as Rick Brunson.

But, in case you were, he’s actually tearing up the Philippine Basketball Association.

Except for this little mishap.

Balkman’s reaction to Mr. Irrelevant of the 2009 NBA Draft (Robert Dozier) on the non-called foul was so ridiculous. Looking at the replay from underneath the basket, it looks like he was hardly even touched.

So to start bumping referees and getting in their faces and then choking a teammate who’s trying to calm you down is a candidate for an all-time bad job.

Here’s what Balkman said via twitter after the incident…

Honorable Mention

Joe Pa writes a letter in 1982 to a player who “cheated” Penn State out of $12.99

You want to talk about taking the extreme on something so minuscule.

$12.99? Joe Paterno got after a kid’s livelihood in this letter and even went as far as to offer a poor job recommendation because the kid owed 13 bucks on a bill from a trip to the Fiesta Bowl.

He probably ordered the Playboy channel from his hotel room because he knew it was going to be his last room as a Penn State football player. Let him live a little.

My favorite part of the whole letter is this line from Paterno - “You don’t do things right sometimes; you do them right all the time.”

I guess he must have forgotten he said those very words when Jerry Sandusky was roaming free in the state of Pennsylvania so the great name of Penn State could be protected.

What a bad job.

-mDOT

THE GOOD READS

Find me in the Club Noisey takes a look back at the 10-year anniversary of 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die Trying.”

Football Bible How late 49ers coach Bill Walsh wrote a 550-page book that became a bible for NFL coaches. 

More Donuts Why Dilla may be Jazz’s last great innovator. 

The Return of Charlie Sheen The Atlantic takes a look at the return of Charlie Sheen to the big screen and his latest project “A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swann III” directed by Roman Coppola. 

illustration via

THE 5 MOST OVERRATED SUPER BOWL MVP WINNERS EVER

Winning a Super Bowl MVP award can be a great personal accomplishment for your legacy, but then there are winners who won it because they had to give it to somebody. 

SXS takes a look at five Super Bowl MVP’s we probably could’ve gone without.

Read More

NOT SO SUPER: 4 THINGS WE DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT THIS WEEK BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL

MR:

JOE FLACCO AND THE WORD “ELITE”

Flacco has certainly come up big, but the need for all these quarterbacks to be labeled “elite” is just getting me sick to my stomach.

To be elite is to mean you are an exceptional talent and can be widely regarded as one of the top at your position.

We don’t need everyone who makes a Super Bowl or who wins a big game all of a sudden be called elite. 

Every week someone is elite or falls off the elite train.

Who really cares? 

TIM TEBOW

You’re probably sitting there wondering why Tebow’s name is even on this list considering it’s a Ravens-49ers Super Bowl. But come on, let’s get serious. This guy is always a topic no matter what’s going on. You can put money on at least a couple of reporters asking Tebow questions on “Media Day.”

I’ll give you two ways someone is going to try and sneak this one in.

1. Niners defensive tackle Ray McDonald played with Tebow at Florida and won the 2006 National Championship together. A game in which Tebow scored two touchdowns.
2. The success of quarterback Colin Kaepernick and the read-option will compel someone to wonder why Tebow couldn’t succeed in this style and someday end up playing for the Lombardi Trophy.

I can just imagine the question to McDonald now.

“Ray, since you’ve played with both Tim Tebow and now Colin, how do you think their styles compare and could Tim lead a team to the Super Bowl one day?”

You may laugh now, but check out John Elway’s comments and tell me what questions you think will be asked on “Media Day.”

AB:

CATFISHING

Here’s to hoping we never run into a Te’o story again. 

But given the fact that SNL just ran a skit on it and we’re still not done beating this story to death like they did Pesci in “Casino,” let’s assume that some reporter (probably one who writes for some Gazzette in Hawaii) is going to come at either Ravens DT Haloti N’gata or Niners tackle Mike Iupati and throw in the Samoan connection.

I don’t ever wanna hear the name Ronny, or Lennay, or Mantei again. I don’t even know why I keep checking off Pacific Islander at this point on job applications. 

STUPID BETS

The Superbowl is time for family, friends, and food, but it can also become a heavy gambling session for all involved. 

What I don’t wanna hear about though are corny bets, namely the ones where people put 50 dollars on how many times Jim and John Harbaugh’s pops get shown during the telecast or a 100 racks on who gets thanked first by the MVP. 

Whoever is betting on that type of corn factory rubbish better be female and hot or bottom line needs to be taken out back. 

BAD JOB OF THE WEEK | JAMARCUS RUSSELL

In this week’s bad job, we take shots at the NFL’s former best Young Jeezy lookalike - Jamarcus Russell. 

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HOW’D I LOOK? | WILD CARD ROOKIE REPORT CARD

Andrew Luck at Baltimore

Stat Line: 28/54, 288 YDS, 0 TD, 1 INT, 1 FUM; 35 RUSH YDS

Anthony Brent:

GRADE: B-

For the Colts, it was a tough luck of the draw (sorry for the pun), but despite the loss I thought Luck played exactly with the same poise and un-rookie like awareness we’ve all been impressed by throughout the season.

I never thought he seemed frazzled or phased by the moment and despite playing from behind, I thought he certainly wasn’t helped by a few drops put down by his receiving core in big spots. That being said, if you can’t punch it in the endzone, you’re not going to win in the playoffs and Luck just couldn’t manage to hit the one big throw that would’ve given his team a much needed jolt.

Mike Reyes:

GRADE: B-

A road playoff game is tough for any rookie, even for one that set a record for most passing yards by a first-year quarterback. But a road playoff game in Baltimore in Ray Lewis’ final home game without your offensive coordinator who went to the hospital? That’s almost near impossible.

Luck’s trend of getting hammered seemingly on every play carried over from the regular season and he certainly didn’t get any help from his receivers as they dropped quite a few passes themselves. Couple that with his right tackle getting beat like a drum, and having to look off Ed Reed all day, and I’d say the rookie’s performance wasn’t bad.

Robert Griffin III vs Seattle

Stat Line: 10/19, 84 YDS, 2 TD, 1 INT, 1 FUM; 21 RUSH YDS

Anthony Brent:

GRADE: C

For heart alone, RG3 deserves an A, unfortunately his health just could not complement his desire and because of it his overall his performance obviously suffered. 

Griffin hasn’t been healthy for a while now and although the Skins were able to escape with their franchise star on one leg last week against the Cowboys, to ask for something Herculean especially against a violent and aggressive defense like Seattle in his first playoff start was probably wishful thinking. But hey, who can blame the Skins for rolling the dice, the kid has shifted the moon in DC multiple times this year, why not let him finish what he started. 

Like fans all around the NFL, our only hope now is that RG3’s gusty effort doesn’t equate to irreparable long-term damage to his knee.

Mike Reyes:

GRADE: C

It wasn’t the greatest of games for RG3. He and the Redskins started out like a house on fire with an early 14-0 lead. But then the vaunted Seahawks defense started to clamp down and he began missing some easy throws mixed in with a badly underthrown interception.  

If it wasn’t for the ugly knee injury and him being hobbled entering the game, his grade would have been much lower because it certainly wasn’t a good performance. But I’m sure some of his missed throws came as a result of him being hurt so I’ll give the kid the benefit of the doubt.

Russell Wilson at Washington

Stat Line: 15/26, 187 YDS, 1 TD; 67 RUSH YDS

Anthony Brent:

GRADE: B+

Wilson looked every bit the rookie in that first quarter when he was shakily handing the ball off and clunking endzone balls off the goal post. Though just like Luck, he didn’t look uncomfortable even when it seemed the Seahawks were away giving chance after chance to go up, particularly on a potential deep ball to Doug Baldwin that he just slightly overthrew late in the game. 

But like he’s done all season Wilson gathered himself and managed his first road game to near perfection. Having Marshawn Lynch in beast mode has always helped to take the pressure off, but Wilson did more than his share, connecting with Sidney Rice and Golden Tate on some nice receptions throughout, and even running the sidelines as a lead blocker on Lynch’s go-ahead run in the 4th. 

Mike Reyes:

GRADE: A-

Wilson’s line wasn’t overly impressive, but man some of his throws certainly were. In the first half of the season he played like a 3rd round rookie QB and the Seahawks were basically winning in spite of him, but he has sure made some good looking throws in big spots in the second half of the season. 

I think this growth started right around the time he led the game-winning drive against the Pats in Week 6.

An A-minus grade may seem high for someone who threw for under 190 yards, but it’s the composure the kid showed in a road playoff game and down 14-0 that showed me something.

- AB & MR

JTOL | NFL WEEK 17: BLACK MONDAY FUNDAY

“But I need someone different.You know it, oh oh you know it. Oh oh you know it, we both know it.” - Drake

AB:

• In the immortal words of Drizzy Drake Rogers, the Cowboys need someone different. Ever since the fumble in Seattle years back, Tony Romo has been eternally big game cursed. JJ’s squad is now 2-11 in Week 17 since 2000.

• It’s unfortunate that Andy Reid’s tenure in Philly ended the way it did, but Philly does need something different come next season. For Reid, it truly marks the end of one of the great tenures in Eagles history and though it never ended in Superbowl glory, few will be hard pressed to find a coach who was able to sustain consistency and survive the cesspool of pressure as long as he did in one of the toughest media markets in the league.

• The Chuck Pagano locker room dance is what sports is all about. Also, super kudos to Arian Foster for rubbing the “Chuck Strong” ad behind the goal post after scoring.

• “It’s awesome that Alfred Morris is my Terrell Davis” - RG3.

• 7-9 finish for the Panthers. But in the last two years of the Ron Rivera era: 2-12 in games decided by a touchdown or less. Does he get the ax like Paul Bunyan?

• The Jets and Bills game should not have been televised in the New York market. I would vote for automatic contraction for both franchises ASAP.

• 7-16. 49 YDS. Brady Quinn’s numbers on his final day as an NFL QB.

• Mike Crabtree becomes the first Niners wideout to go over 1,000 yards receiving since T.O. back in the early oughts. This landmark line goes to show 1) how much trash the Bay has had to see in the last decade as far as pass catchers go and 2) how much better Crabs has looked since Kaepernick has taken over at QB. Since the change, Crabs has seen his targeted plays of at least 15 yards or more triple compared to his looks when Alex Smith called shots.

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JTOL | NFL WEEK 16: FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

AB:

• I can’t remember a more disappointing time for New York football. The Giants are choking it all away (pause), and the Jets might be the worst team on the planet in the history of all competition.

• I know that Camille Belle break up was hard, but bad job by Tebow. As much crap as he’s taken, if you are the gamer, the winner, and the team guy everyone talks about - you take four snaps and love it. If you’ve been itching to get out there, it doesn’t matter how or when - you do it. Counting your chips too early before you get to the Jags never looks good - especially if it comes at a cost to your perception as a competitor. 

• Just as shocking as the bad play by Eli Manning has been the fall off of Big Ben and the Steelers. It’s pretty surprising how two of the most consistent and model franchises (the Giants and Steelers) have unable to get off the schneid and now will probably be on the outside looking in. For the Black and Yellow, it will be only the third time in the last eight years they haven’t touched postseason play. 

• You can take shots at him all you want, but Pete Carroll is looking like a teflon don right now. He’s running up scores like USC, laughing all the way to the bank, and maybe a division title as well. Plus in terms of the Carroll/Harbaugh wars that date back to Stanford/USC, Carroll wanted this. Harbaugh ran it up on him in his final days in LA, even going for two at one point in a 55-21 win in 2009 (Carroll’s first Nov. loss at SC). Payback comes best when the revenge is served cold. 

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JTOL | NFL WEEK 15: GRIN AND BEAR IT

AB:

• Super saluds to the little Packers fan at this Chicago elementary school who went toe-to-toe with Bears’ mascot Staley. Times are definitely bad in the city of wind when you don’t even get love from home campuses. via 

• Today’s lesson: prudence. Russell Wilson is good, but is he Hall of Fame good? To me he’s definitely a composed leader and probably the closet thing to a stripped down version of Richard Ayoade, but during the Seahawks/Bills broadcast I heard way too much talk about Wilson being the next Peyton Manning. This was compounded by a 11pm EST text I got from a friend who I haven’t heard from in 6 months telling me he believed Wilson was the next Randall Cunningham. I promptly shattered my iPhone 3GS in disgust (its all good, I bought the 5 already). 

• In case you were wondering: those Seahawks unis they sported in Toronto were called “Wolf Grey” by Nike. I think I might get me a Bruce Irvin one. 

• Danny Amendola has a lot of rage. Like Eminem ”8 Mile” after I found out Wink did hit my girl rage. It’s just sad that some old security guard had to pay the price for it.  via KSK

• Colin Kaepernick might be legit. He had a great Sunday night and definitely held his own on the road against one of the NFL’s best in Brady. However, with that defense as the wind beneath his wings, it’s probably easy to feel teflon confident with anything he does. 

• For those who care, Terrell Pryor made a sighting in Oaktown versus the Chiefs. Pryor on his 2012 debut: “I enjoyed the four plays or whatever it was. It’s a stepping stone, and I was excited to get in there at least.” Four plays. Definitely on his way to the Hall. 

• “I look at today’s game and I could have had 300.” - Adrian Peterson after tallying 212 yards on the Rams. 

MR:

• I don’t want to say I was surprised about the Falcons beating the Giants at home, but I am stunned they blew them out the way they did. It was a dominating 34-0 victory, but I’m still not sold on them going to the bowl.

• The Giants aren’t in an ideal situation. After starting 6-2, they’ve gone 2-4 and next week at Baltimore is virtually a must-win against a Ravens team on a downward spiral.

• The Ravens have lost 3 straight games and although they stand at 9-5 and clinched a playoff berth with the Steelers losing to Dallas, they look absolutely awful. Their defense is mediocre and Joe Flacco has shown his true colors which reveal an average NFL quarterback.

• Leave it to the pathetic Lions to snap Arizona’s 9-game losing streak. The Cardinals go from getting completely embarrassed by Seattle 58-0 to blowing out Detroit 38-10. Special thanks to Matthew Stafford for knocking me out of my fantasy playoffs with his horrific performance.

• Calvin Johnson was able to get his 7th straight 100+ yard game which tied an NFL record and gave him 1,667 receiving yards on the season, leaving him just 181 behind Jerry Rice’s single-season record of 1,848.

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JTOL | NFL WEEK 14 NOTES

• League MVP of the week goes to the Colts fan who flipped “2 BIRDS” to Rob Bironas when he missed a field goal. Times are good in the land of the Luck right now. via KSK

• Adrian Peterson says he wants to break Eric Dickerson’s rushing record and I for one think he can do it. He needs 506 yards in 3 games (about 167 yds/per). He has the Rams, Texans, and Packers up next on the slate. He’ll definitely shave off 200 going against Nelly’s home team.

• Reggie Bush loves taking vicious hits. It’s in his nature to trucked. This one comes courtesy of the Niners Donte Whitner who gave Bush the German suplex. What up Sheldon Brown!

• Frank Gore’s nickname after all is “The Inconvenient Truth.” That’s why he certainly had no shame in putting on a dead Fins hoody after winning a game against them. I NEED one of those air mailed to me stat.

• Bad job by Big Ben, but a worse job by Antonio Brown. The ball don’t bite.

• Matter fact. Things could always be worse. Exhibit A: the Cardinals and the Vince Young marketing campaign.

• Loved how CBS showed Mark Sanchez having a moment with his pops before the JAX game, hugging and all. Then Tim Tebow comes in and hugs Sanchez’s pops too at the end of it as if solidarity will somehow bring them fortune. If I’m Mark, I don’t know what’s worse: my season, or the fact that even my father might adopt Tebow over me.

• You know its a rough patch for the Bills when even on scoring plays, they can’t do anything, but hurt fans emotionally and physically.

• It’s not often an 11-2 team garners so little respect but that’s where most stand with the Atlanta Falcons. That final score may not have looked so bad but they got dominated by Cam Newton. They may still end 13-3 and be no one’s pick to win the ‘chip.

• Cam’s last 4 games: 269 YDS/GM, 8 TD, 0 INT. Believe me, I’m just as shocked as you are.

• The end of the Ravens-Redskins game was insane. It also goes to show how bad the Baltimore D really has been this year, allowing Kirk Cousins to come in for the game-winning score and 2-point conversion. Luckily RG3 avoided serious injury.

• The Ravens are gonna be another 10+ win team that will probably be no one’s pick to go to the bowl. The defense just isn’t what it used to be this year.

• Some people were probably surprised that the Giants nearly doubled the Saints’ score after winning 52-27, I wasn’t. The Saints are a joke on the road. And good teams like the Giants tend to come up big in must-win games.

• Since the Saints are basically done, the streak of the team hosting the Super Bowl and not making the playoffs is now up to 12 consecutive years. The last team who hosted the Super Bowl and made the playoffs in the same year was the 2000 Bucs.

• I find it amazing that one NFL team can actually lose to another 58-0. I understand John Skelton and Ryan Lindley are awful, but if Kevin Kolb was in there they still would’ve gotten demolished. Maybe not 58-0, but 45-6 is certainly within realm.

• This doesn’t mean a whole lot for this year, but since starting 0-5, the Browns have gone 5-3 and that pretty much echoes what we’ve been saying about Cleveland all year. This really isn’t a bad team. They have a solid defense and some nice young talent on offense, even if their rookie QB is pushing 30.

NFL WEEK 13 | RELAX AND TAKE NOTES

• That Jets-Cardinals game set back football about 50 years. The two teams combined for 426 total yards of offense in the game. Seven teams had more than that total on their own in Week 13. At least Jet fans don’t have to watch Mark Sanchez anymore. Hopefully.

• 391 YDS, 4 TD, 3 INT. I can’t stress enough how big time Andrew Luck is. I understand he has a few bad looking throws every game and the interception total is high, but he’s already displayed great clutch ability and the Colts are somehow 8-4 and in great position for the playoffs.

• The 8 wins for Andrew Luck are the most by a rookie QB drafted No. 1 overall since the common-draft began in 1967.

• Inspired win by the Chiefs after the tragedy that occurred Saturday morning involving former teammate Jovan Belcher. It also shows how much of a joke the Panthers really are.

• I guess the world can relax about Colin Kaepernick now, right? He was a direct result of the 49ers blowing a 10-2 fourth quarter lead with his fumble. This is not to say I don’t think he should be their starting QB going forward, I just think the ridiculous craze needs to stop.There isn’t anything worse the sports media and the fans fall victim to than living in the moment.

• Plus he had a wack photoshoot in the San Fran Gate this weekend.

• I know I seemingly rip them every week, but the Chargers are just so pathetic. After starting off 2-0, they’ve gone just 2-8 and those two wins were against Kansas City. Philip Rivers is just god awful.

• The Steelers are amazing. They’re one of the very few teams that can lose their starting quarterback and still be very respectable and competitive. Being able to win a huge road game in Baltimore with a 3rd-string soon-to-be 38 year old QB in Charlie Batch. To me, that win just about guaranteed their place in the playoffs this year.

• Peyton Manning now has six games this season with a Total QBR of 90+ which leads the NFL. He has 3,502 YDS, 29 TD, 9 INT on the season and is on pace for 4,669 YDS, 39 TD, 12 INT. My money is on the Sheriff to win his 5th MVP award. The Ravens loss also opens the door for the Broncos shot at a No. 2 seed in the AFC.

• Why is it that when Eli or Romo or Cutler have those bad multiple interception games they get crucified to no end but when Matt Ryan or Drew Brees have them no one has speaks a word about it?

• 0-6 without Big Ben against the Ravens all-time entering Sunday and the Steelers dash the wild card hopes of the lowly and prayerful 5-7 Jets and Bills. Props to Charlie Batch for making me and everyone eat their words of hate last week.